Spoiler Alert (The Robot Falls in Love)

Did you see what happened in this week’s episode of Game of Thrones? OH MY GOD. What a heartbreaking sequence of events! Who would have thought that Daenerys would literally turn into a dragon and devour Ser Jorah right before he was about to tell her that her brother Rhaegar is still alive?

Obviously, this did not happen on the latest episode of Game of Thrones. If you live in the world, pay attention things, and breathe air, you know what actually happened on the latest episode of Game of Thrones. There were multiple meltdowns on Twitter, Tumblr, Facebook, headlines from the A.V. Club and Entertainment Weekly and Buzzfeed, announcing (and wailing) over the devastating sequence where Jon Snow confessed his love for Mance Rayder and broke Ygritte’s heart.

That did not happen, either. But if you talked about what really happened on Facebook, you got cries of “I haven’t seen it yet!” and “You ruined the episode for me!” and “NO SPOILERS!”

I have been a participant of online message boards since the age of fifteen, back in the days where Television Without Pity was still known as Mighty Big TV. Back then, when I participated in the Buffy and Dawson’s Creek (shut up) boards, we were not allowed to discuss spoilers in anywhere except the designated spoiler threads.

Back then, a spoiler was a piece of information about an upcoming episode that had not yet aired in the United States. A spoiler could be an episode description, a preview, casting information, or specific plot details that people who like being surprised really didn’t want to know.

Now, a spoiler seems to be code for “anything that happens in a TV show that I couldn’t be bothered to watch the night that it aired.”

The way we watch TV is changing and evolving. Many people don’t watch episodes the night they air anymore. I am seasons behind in Mad Men and Breaking Bad, and have somehow managed to avoid learning all but one major plot point in Breaking Bad about Giancarlo Esposito’s character.

But the last season of Breaking Bad is coming up soon, and if my Facebook friends were to start talking about plot events from previous seasons, and these discussions appeared in my news feed – well, it’s not their fault that I didn’t watch in time.

Sure, some seasons of Breaking Bad are several years old at this point. But I can’t even be upset with the people who posted their reactions to Game of Thrones. That episode was a big deal! Lots of stuff happened! Of course people are going to take to social media to express their opinions (not to mention grief).

I understand that the way people view television has changed, that more and more people are not watching their shows on the night that they air, and that some shows require more spoiler rules than others. I don’t think it’s unreasonable to expect people to wait a few weeks to talk openly on Facebook about the last season of Arrested Development, because not everyone is a nerd like me and sets aside an entire day just to watch all fifteen episodes in a row. (Did you see when Lindsay expanded HOOP to an international organization and put Annyong in charge? Hilarious!)

But aside from making exceptions for Internet-only series where entire seasons are released all at once, I don’t think it’s my responsibility to keep up with each friend’s viewing schedule for each show s/he watches before I openly express my excitement that Elena chose Pacey. Nor is it another friend’s responsibility to hide her disappointed reaction when she was really hoping Elena would end up with Angel.

Of course, I don’t intentionally give people plot details they don’t want to know. I’m not a jerk. If a friend posts a status update about that great third season episode of Mad Men, I’m not going to tell her that the fifth season reveals Joan to be a natural blonde. I avoid talking about A Song of Ice and Fire when discussing Game of Thrones, because there are plenty of viewers who haven’t read the books, and they don’t need to be told that Jon Snow’s real father turns out to be Ted Mosby. And if someone tells me she’s dying to talk to me about the first season of Veronica Mars, “but I haven’t seen the last two episodes so DON’T SAY ANYTHING,” I won’t ruin the surprise of the reveal of the Ice Truck Killer.

But except for those exceptions, I think most other details are fair game for discussion.

I’m old-fashioned that way, I guess. It’s only a spoiler if it includes details about an episode that has not yet aired. Everything else is just a plot detail.

Thoughts?