New Careers for Rom-Com Leading Ladies

After writing my “Battle of the Sexes” post last night, I started thinking about the leading female characters in romantic comedies and the careers they follow.

Mindy Kaling has pointed out in a great New Yorker article that romantic comedies are often populated by women who work in art galleries. She writes,

“How many freakin’ art galleries are out there? Are people buying visual art on a daily basis? This posh/smart/classy profession is a favorite in movies. It’s in the same realm as kindergarten teacher or children’s-book illustrator in terms of accessibility: guys don’t really get it, but it is likable and nonthreatening.”

Kaling is absolutely right (and she writes more of these witty observations in her book Is Everyone Hanging Out Without Me?, so read it!) I’d also like to add to the list of acceptable professions for romantic comedy leading women: children’s bookstore owner (Meg Ryan in You’ve Got Mail), woman who works in the publishing industry, usually for a woman’s magazine (Kate Hudson in How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, Jennifer Garner in 13 Going on 30, Drew Barrymore in Going the Distance), baker who specializes in cupcakes (Ashley Williams in How I Met Your Mother – yes, it’s a TV show, but it counts). These jobs are professional but acceptably feminine and nonthreatening for the male lead.

(For the record, I’m not trying to imply that female-dominated careers are inherently less worthy than male-dominated careers, or that a woman having a baker or publishing career is anti-feminist. I’m only pointing out that there isn’t a lot of variety of careers for women in romantic comedies.)

Of course, sometimes female characters have high-powered jobs or careers in male-dominated fields. Sometimes they even have executive positions. Usually, though, the high-powered businesswomen is the type who barks into a phone and has to learn that there are More Important Things Than Work – like true love! (Insert examples from oh so many movies.) Or, like Katherine Heigl in 27 Dresses, these characters are the assistants of high-powered executives in nondescript business careers, and as a fun bonus, they’re in love with their bosses (at least temporarily).

Well, I think it’s about time for romantic comedy leading women to explore more diverse career options. Here is a list of careers I would like to see for our romantic leading women.

High school trigonometry teacher
Romantic comedies love their kindergarten and elementary school teachers. Why not expand the field to include secondary teachers – better yet, female teachers of mathematics? As a former eighth grade English teacher, I have it on good authority that female math teachers do exist, and they fall in love just as easily as elementary school teachers. Her male lead can woo her with a rendition of 2ge+her’s “U + Me = Us (Calculus)” and write her proofs instead of love letters. The movie would be even better if we could get in a Dangerous Minds reference except with math instead of poetry.

Accountant
Better yet, an accountant that actually likes her job. When a guy tries to save her from her humdrum life and pursue a more artistic, “fulfilling” career, she says, “No thanks, I enjoy doing people’s taxes and getting a good salary. I’m cool with saving my violin playing/doll making/cupcake baking as a weekend hobby.” On the other hand, that would make for a really short movie, wouldn’t it? I might have to reconsider this as a viable rom-com leading woman career option.

Genetic scientist
A genetic scientist who works so hard at her job that she never has time to pursue a love life, so she decides to create a perfect man by using cloning techniques! Think a role-reversal Pygmalion crossed with Frankenstein, except with more adorable montages and cute music. Actually, this would work better as a sci-fi horror movie.

Urologist
No, see, it’s funny because she’s a woman and she’s a penis doctor! Get it? Then she develops a romance with a male ob-gyn. The movie will be called His and Hers.

Guitarist in a death metal band
I envision this romantic comedy leading lady looking, sounding, and dressing exactly like Zooey Deschanel, but then scares everyone with her frightening death metal guitar skills. She falls in love with a rapper.

Prosecuting attorney
Let’s have a remake of Adam’s Rib, but with the male attorney defending the woman who shot her husband, as his wife works as the prosecutor. I’m actually serious about this suggestion. The typical “battle of the sexes” story will be turned on its head with the man defending a woman and a woman prosecuting on behalf of a man (and the state).

Plumber
I want a Community film spinoff where a female plumber falls in love with a man enrolled in Greendale’s sinister air conditioner repair school. They’re initially prejudiced against each other because of the war between the two majors, but they fall in love despite that and change the system from within! Troy Barnes and Britta Perry obviously have large parts in this film, and Jerry Minor can return as the father of the female plumber.

Feminist blogger/activist
A feminist blogger/activist who fights against sexism but secretly believes that all men suck meets a guy who DOESN’T suck, and then she completely reevaluates everything she ever thought about sexism and decides to be nicer to men. But at the end of the movie, the man kisses this feminist woman and finds out that she’s completely made of straw. The End.

How about the rest of you? What careers would you like to see for romantic comedy leading women? Offer suggestions in the comments.