Before I start writing about my September 2011 movies that I don’t want to see, I’d like to remind readers to donate, if they can, to the production of Boy Gets Girl by Harry Diesel productions. The production is much closer to its goal than it was a few days ago but still needs more money pledged. If you can’t donate, please consider telling your friends and family about this show.
Anyway, it’s the first of the month, which means I have more movies to not see! September kicks off the fall movie season and begins the year’s slow transition from mind-numbingly stupid popcorn fare to mind-numbingly stupid Oscar bait. As such, September movies tend to consist of an amusing mix of lowbow crap and pretentious crap. Let’s see what September 2011 has to offer!
First on the list is Straw Dogs, starring Kate Bosworth, Alexander Peter Stellan Sars-skarsgaard, and the cute brown-haired actor who is not the same guy who played Spike on Buffy the Vampire Slayer and just happens to have a very similar last name:
Summary: James Marsden-Marsters and Kate Bosworth are married and seem to have a loving relationship, showing easy, affectionate banter with each other. Too bad their relationship is about to go to shit because they return to Kate Bosworth’s hometown of Rapeville, Hickssissippi where her ex-boyfriend Blue-Collar Rape Boy totally wants to rape her, and so do his hick rapist friends! This causes problems in their relationship. Kate Bosworth feels violated, and James Marsters-Marsden feels like he’s going to turn into something he hates – namely, a violent blue-collar hick jerk, and he never thought that could happen to him because he’s a clean-cut city boy, and clean-cut city boys aren’t violent!
Predicted ending: Blue-Collar Rape Boy and his hick rapist friends attack the house in which James Marsden-Marsters and Kate Bosworth live. James Marsden-Marsters flips his shit and goes, “I’ve already been dumped for Brandon Routh, Patrick Dempsey, and Ryan Gosling, and now that a woman who isn’t Katherine Heigl finally prefers me to another guy, you’re trying to take her away from me? FUCK YOU, ERIC FROM TRUE BLOOD!” James Marsters-Marsden Becomes The Thing He Hates to save his wife, and Kate Bosworth gets to be a victim for two hours except for one ass-kicking moment where she shoots one of her would-be rapists…maybe.
My verdict: I don’t think this looks like a bad movie. It’s probably an affecting thriller. I just object, in principle, to a movie where the threat of rape against a woman is used as a plot device to start the character development of the male protagonist. Kate Bosworth’s feelings of violation are of some importance, but not as important as the fact that James Marsters feels bad that his wife is feeling violated. I find that problematic.
Next up is I Don’t Know How She Does It, starring Sarah Jessica Parker in a role of a wife and mother, and thank God – the bitch has finally learned her place after starring in a successful TV show and films where she had the gumption to play a sexually active woman who is – gasp! – over forty:
Summary: Sarah Jessica Parker plays a successful executive and a mother whom everyone admires for Having It All and Doing It All. They don’t know how she does it! How does she manage to be a totally active mother and wife and be successful? Whoops, it appears that her life is starting to unravel because of the pressure she puts on herself, the pressure her job puts on her, and because there are only twenty-four hours in a day.
Predicted ending: SJP probably winds up keeping her job but finding a more flexible schedule…somehow…and manages to achieve some balance in her life. She gets support from her husband Greg Kinnear. She will either realize that she can’t have it all, or she will realize that she can’t have a perfect balance of work and home life every damn day and that’s okay. I hope the latter of the two things happens because that would be a far more progressive message.
My verdict: I think this looks pretty good and I’ll probably see it, but I have one bone to pick with this trailer. I like that Greg Kinnear seems to be a supportive husband. I like that his concern over SJP seems to be genuine concern about her well-being, and not a whiny “You’re not paying enough attention to me” concern. However, I did wonder why this seemingly self-employed dude who works at home can’t, I don’t know, get his kids ready for school once in a while and take care of shit around the house. From this trailer, I can’t see that his concern extends beyond “I’m worried about you.” I’m left thinking that the movie should be called I Don’t Know WHY She Does It. Maybe I’m wrong, but this question will be at the back of my mind when I go see this.
Next up is What’s Your Number, starring the somehow eternally likable Anna Faris:
Summary: Anna Faris is a huge slut and sleeps around! But that’s okay. We’re still allowed to like her because she may sleep around, but her self-esteem seems somewhat low, and she’s a bit of a klutz. If she actually owned her sexuality and felt no shame for having sex with multiple partners, then we could justifiably hate her. Anyway, she discovers from a Totally Scientific Article that women who have sex with more than twenty men can’t find a husband, so she vows to not have sex with anyone until she finds The One. Then she goes back to all of her exes to see if she hadn’t already found The One and lost him, because that makes sense. Meanwhile, she meets Chris Evans, a jerk who likes to abandon women in his apartments instead of breaking up with them for real. They strike up a friendship!
Predicted ending: Anna Faris reads another article that refutes the Totally Scientific Article she read before, gets a wake-up call, and decides that she’ll continue to have safe sex with whomever she damn pleases. HA! Just kidding. Actually, Anna Faris inexplicably falls in love with Chris Evans and he loves her right back. He’s the guy that respects and gets her, see, even though when she first met him, he was showing a considerable lack of respect for the woman he was currently dating.
My verdict: Damn you, Anna Faris, for being so damn appealing to me and making me laugh at stuff I would normally roll my eyes at. Sigh. Yes, I just really like Anna Faris – not to the point where I would see this movie on opening weekend or go to see it by myself, but if a friend asked me to see it with her, I totally would. And yeah, I laughed at the last joke in the trailer where Thomas Lennon recognized Anna Faris based on her lady parts. I didn’t feel good about it, but I still laughed.
Finally, we have 50/50, a wacky cancer comedy starring Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Seth Rogen. I’ll break from tradition here and show TWO different trailers for this movie because I had different reactions to each one.
Trailer #1:
Trailer #2:
My verdict: The first trailer makes me have a reaction similar to Melissa McEwan’s. It makes me think the movie is treating cancer as an appropriate subject for a douchebro comedy, making stupid jokes about shaving heads with ball trimmers and Doogie Howser jokes that don’t even make sense. The second trailer makes me think that, despite having a few stupid jokes here and there and using Anna Kendrick in a probably thankless Girlfriend role, the movie might actually be a decent-if-predictable story about friendship and trauma that deals with a serious issue with a lighthearted touch. (I also really like Joseph Gordon-Levitt). Very interesting. I guess that means there’s a 50/50 chance that I’ll see this movie! *rimshot*
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Does it make the stupid jokes more or less palatable if you know that 50/50 is based on the writer’s experience, that he’s a comedy writer and is Seth Rogen’s best friend? I imagine the jokes are more or less what actually happened. Not a trailer, but I really like this video:
Also, I’m pretty sure you’re going to hate the ending of I Don’t Know How She Does It. Unless it’s changed from the book!
Does it make the stupid jokes more or less palatable if you know that 50/50 is based on the writer’s experience, that he’s a comedy writer and is Seth Rogen’s best friend?
It does. Knowing it’s autobiographical definitely makes me more interested to see it. Humor coming from someone trying to deal with a traumatic experience in the best way possible, is a lot more palatable than someone co-opting a traumatic experience for LAFFS. I think I’ll probably see this now.
And oh crap, she quits her job to stay at home with her family, doesn’t she? You can spoil me.
I haven’t actually read the book, not being drawn to so-called “women’s fiction.” However, after reading your article, I looked for book reviews with spoilers because I was curious as to how close you got. Evidently, she quits, and she and her husband move to the country- but there are hints that she will return to work with a different approach after the ending. So, it’s pretty much the trite, “working women can’t really have it all” ending you would expect.
I think Anna Faris is a comic genius and Chris Evan’s is talented and charming and I laughed at the line, “I’m dating a scientist. He doesn’t look smart either.” So yeah I’m probably gonna end up seeing that, and I will hope it does big numbers because Anna deserves to be recognized for said Comic Genius.
I’m still on a break with Seth Rogen, he needs to be less Seth Rogen-y in something soon for me to start liking him again. I see those two different trailers aimed at the two separate audiences the people who loved 500 Days of Summer and those who loved Superbad.
I laughed at that line, too. I do want Anna Faris to get good press, because she’s hilarious. The only movie I’ve seen Chris Evans in is Not Another Teen Movie and he was funny in that.
I see those two different trailers aimed at the two separate audiences the people who loved 500 Days of Summer and those who loved Superbad.
I think that’s it in a nutshell. Well said.