Glee’s “Funeral” and the First Annual McKinley High “Who Caresies” Awards

In the seventh season of Scrubs, Dr. Cox interrupted a scene of characters whining about their personal lives to present the “Who Caresies” awards.  The “Who Caresies” went to the person with the least interesting, most annoying, whiniest problem:

I would like to carry on this great tradition by bringing it from Sacred Heart Hospital to McKinley High School.

Nominee One: “Sue Sylvester and her impending run for the House of Representatives.”  A dark horse in the “Who Caresies” race, her chances of winning are small, now that she shows some character development, but she still has a shot since this development came too late in the season to have any real impact.

Nominee Two: “The Finn Hudson/Quinn Fabray/Rachel Berry/Jesse St. James quadrangle of doom.”  Truly the most circular and repetitive of the storylines on Glee, this love quadrangle manages to render each participant equally unsympathetic.  This would normally be the story to beat, but Quinn’s willingness to date Finn and “deal” with his feelings for Rachel by sacrificing all of her dignity and self-respect provokes deep feminist rage rather than indifference, and that’s going to hurt its chances.

Nominee Three: “New Directions Goes to Nationals.”  By avoiding any and all buildup and momentum to the three major competitions this year, and instead, choosing to focus on storylines like love triangles, football, funerals, weddings, and gay bullying, this story already had a lead in the race, but they may have clinched a victory by promising us a set of generic, badly-written original songs instead of something mesmerizing like last year’s Journey medley at Regionals.

Nominee Four: “Will and Emma still aren’t together for…some reason.”  Jayma Mays and Matthew Morrison still have a sweet, believable chemistry together, but their scenes now fail to invoke any emotion whatsoever.  It could pull ahead if enough members of the Academy fall asleep during their scenes.

May I have the envelope, please?

Aaaand the First Annual McKinley High Who Caresies goes to…New Directions at Nationals!

Commentary: This win was a surprise.  Most people threw in their bets behind the love triangle, but the upcoming competition at Nationals managed to pull ahead at the last second.  Still, I understand the Academy’s mindset.  New Directions performing terrible original songs was enough to provide several yawns from the audience, but the writers ensured complete indifference by neglecting to showcase the vastly superior Vocal Adrenaline all season.  If that weren’t enough, the viewers can rest assured that they will have no interest in the Vocal Adrenaline numbers either, as we will likely not see any performances of the “Rehab” and “Bohemian Rhapsody” quality, but will instead be subjected to a string of boring ballads performed by boring guest star Charice.

Congratulations, “New Directions Goes to Nationals.”  But honestly, you’re all winners.  When you make an episode featuring 1) a story about a disabled character, and 2) individual performances from my four favorite New Directions singers, and I fail to have the slightest bit of interest, you ALL deserve the “Who Caresies.”