Our baby girl was born in November 2021, changing our lives forever. The fatigue of raising a newborn hit us immediately. I threw my “no screen time EVER” rule right out the window in the first week of her life. Watching television was the only way I could keep myself awake while breastfeeding. After all, she’s not facing the TV, and she’s too young to absorb or understand what she hears, and it’s better to stay awake than risk dropping her.
A month into her life, I realized that I had a rare opportunity to watch all the movies likely to be nominated for Oscars in the “Big 8” categories (Picture, Director, Acting, Writing) before the ceremony. I had not done this in ten years because I didn’t want to waste time on movies that I didn’t think I would like. But things had changed. I was a nursing mother who fed a baby at least eight times a day. I was made of time.
Could I watch and appreciate the films broken up into twenty- to thirty-minute pieces? Only time would tell.
KING RICHARD
My first “let me watch this movie in chunks” Oscar movie is the one that white feminists on Twitter called out for being about the dad of exceptional women rather than the exceptional women themselves, ignoring the fact that the exceptional women are executive producers of the film and WANTED this story told.
It was smart to start with a biopic, and not just because it’s one of the few movies available to me for free via streaming. I feel less disrupted by starting and stopping the film because I know how it ends. And it feels okay to watch a “slice of life” family film in parts.
Will Smith does a great job as Richard, especially in the scene where welfare services check in on the family. He stands up for himself and them in a predictable biopic-y speech, but there’s an oh so slight tremble in his voice – he knows the risks of being a Black man in this situation and that defending his family could come with a price. I’m also glad the movie doesn’t neglect the importance of Venus and Serena’s mother.
What will I do if my daughter shows an aptitude in sport, or music, or art…or, lord forbid, being a social media influencer? We’re keeping her off social media right now – what if that catastrophically blows up in our face and she chooses Instagram modeling as an act of rebellion?
DON’T LOOK UP
The baby is asleep, but she won’t be for long. Do I attempt a nap of my own, or stay up late and watch it through so I’m awake when she rises for her next feeding? I hit play and play it by ear.
Thirty minutes in, I check to see how much is left. There are still two hours to go. I’ve heard different iterations of the same joke for half an hour and there are two hours left. I’m not going to make it. This is getting nominated for things? Dear lord. This movie is lecturing me about climate change through a poorly conceived metaphor when every single person involved in making it has (probably) a larger carbon footprint than I do.
My husband passes through the living room. “Is this movie still going?” He can pick up on the smugness factor even though he’s only paying half-attention. I’m grateful for his distraction since my baby is failing in her duty to interrupt what I’m doing with a hungry wail. In fact, she’s been a little too quiet for a little too long – better check the bassinet.
…And the movie is still going. My husband passes through again. “So, is this movie ‘Bart’s Comet?’” He makes a good point. Note to self – tomorrow, watch “Bart’s Comet.”
Verdict: Good performances, smug script, messy. I preferred Mark Rylance’s amalgam of Jobs/Musk/Bezos/Zuckerberg to Meryl Streep’s Trump/Clinton. I am already pre-tired of the “Don’t Look Up is actually a documentary” Twitter comments. But I did love the running gag with Jennifer Lawrence being mad about having to pay for free snacks. That was the most human part of the whole movie.
Somehow nominated for: Picture, Score, Editing, and Original Screenplay, even though it should be Adapted Screenplay – based on “Bart’s Comet”
The next day, I watch “Bart’s Comet.” “Let’s burn down the observatory so this never happens again!” is more pointed and accurate satire than the 2.5 hours I sat through last night.
THE POWER OF THE DOG
It’s very kind of Jane Campion to divide this film into chapters. Watching it is like I’m reading a book. In fact, that’s what watching King Richard felt like – reading a book. Treating films like novels where I can pick it up for twenty minutes, absorb myself in it, and then come back to it later. It’s not my preferred way of watching films, but if the story is really good, breaking up the viewings doesn’t ruin the experience. Necessity is the mother of invention, and mothering makes innovation necessary.
This film stays with me through each feeding and beyond. The ambiguity in the relationships, the way I’m kept on my toes guessing who is the player and who’s being played, and the growing sense of dread haunts me days after watching it. I will return to this one in a few years, watch it straight through, and look for the clues that I missed the first time.
Nominated for: Picture, Director (Campion), Actor (Cumberbatch), Supporting Actor (Plemons, Smit-McPhee), Supporting Actress (Dunst), Adapted Screenplay, Cinematography, Score, Production Design, Film Editing, Sound
Should have been nominated for: Best Supporting Captioning for “[uneasy music playing]”
THE LOST DAUGHTER
I am a better mother than this. I am definitely a better mother than this. Is this film a guide on what NOT to do as a parent?
My husband is half-watching this one, too. He watches younger Leda perform casual cruelty on her daughters, turns to me, and says, “You know you’re nothing like this mother, right?”
I needed to hear that. I’ve already cried in the bathroom with guilt over feeling frustrated with raising a newborn, or heaving an irritated sigh once or twice when I should have spoken in my soothing sing-song voice instead. I feel guilty for being upset, even momentarily, with a tiny person who isn’t doing anything wrong, who’s just being a baby, for huffing “Really?” when she falls asleep on my chest and I put her in the bassinet and she jolts awake.
But feeling frustrated doesn’t make someone a bad mother. This film does an excellent job at making me sympathize with Leda’s feelings while condemning her actions. There’s something cathartic about watching her just get up and leave when she’s had enough – something I would never, ever do, but for a second, it’s nice to pretend that I would.
Also noteworthy – Leda listing all of her daughter’s needs, emergency numbers, to the babysitter right before going on her trip. She’s often cruel and borderline abusive to her kids but she still has all those details memorized. Maybe she’s resentful about the responsibilities of motherhood because her co-parent and husband – in the words of Dorothy Parker* – ain’t shit.
*Not the real Dorothy Parker’s words.
THE EYES OF TAMMY FAYE
A very pregnant Tammy Faye’s water breaks the second she’s about to have sex with the hot Christian musician who’s been pining for her while her husband Spider-man 2.0 ignores her. In the next scene, she’s in the hospital with her new baby daughter.
My childbirth classes taught me that few pregnancies end with the birthing person’s water breaking and being rushed to the hospital. Births rarely happen that quickly. My daughter’s certainly didn’t – I had my first contractions over 24 hours before she was born and didn’t go to the hospital until 7 hours later. When my water finally broke, I didn’t even know, and it was at least 8 more hours until I had to start pushing.
But I’ve learned that while only a small percentage of pregnancies end with the water breaking and a rush to the hospital, 100% of movie pregnancies end that way.
As for the movie, I didn’t know Tammy Faye was pro-LGBT. Good for her. I doubt she was as innocent of the money laundering as the movie insinuates she was, but she’s long gone, so let her rest in peace. Too bad Jessica might not squeak by with a nomination. Maybe the next movie she does will be her turn.
On February 8th, the Oscar nominations are announced, and Jessica Chastain is indeed nominated for Best Actress. The day before the ceremony, she is the perceived frontrunner, having won the SAG and Critics’ Choice Award. Lesson: never count anyone out!
CODA
She’s going to start signing, right? She has to start signing. She looks so stiff and awkward in her audition. Her Deaf family is in the rafters, watching her. They snuck in just to watch her audition. SHE’S DOING IT! HER PERFORMANCE HAS COME ALIVE BECAUSE SHE’S SIGNING! She’s shaking off that Teen thing where she sees her flawed but loving family as a burden and embraces them as being a fundamental part of who she is. I knew this scene was coming, it was beat-by-beat predictable, and I’m still crying because it’s beautiful. And, sure, because of the hormonal surge that comes with the letdown reflex.
Does my baby understand happy tears? She’s only cried from hunger, gas, and wet diapers, and perhaps the existential crisis of climate change. How old will she be when happy tears enter her frame of reference? Or does she already understand because she’s seen me weep with joy at each one of her milestones?
A day before the ceremony, CODA is predicted to upset The Power of the Dog as Best Picture. The film is my sentimental favorite, but several d/Deaf people have commented that the movie feels like it’s made for hearing people, and I *am* hearing, so I’m reacting to a movie created with an audience like me in mind.
I also can’t ignore the many good points that Jenna Fischtrom Beacon brings up in her blog post – especially, how did the family navigate the hearing world before Ruby was born, and how did they not have a professional interpreter that is their legal right thanks to the ADA? I think we’ll both be happy when Troy Kotsur wins Best Supporting Actor, though.
TICK, TICK…BOOM!
Another movie we watch in one sitting. Breaking it up into chunks doesn’t feel like it will work for a musical.
Ten minutes in and I’m already finding new reasons to admire Lin-Manuel Miranda. Can we commission him to make a good film version of Rent?
The diner scene! It’s filled with Broadway people! I can identify more than the average viewer but certainly less than some of my good friends who live and breathe Broadway.
The baby sits in our laps for the beginning of the film but dozes off during her last feed of the night. So far, she’s not showing any recognition of the bright screen in front of her. I don’t know how much longer that will last. The second she starts to pay attention to the TV, the TV is going off…unless she’s facing me and breastfeeding.
But even if she does pick up on some of this movie, it’s a musical, so it doesn’t count, right? Because exposing her to music is a good thing!
I realize that I don’t know the rules, I don’t know what’s actually best for her, and I don’t know how to navigate this part of childrearing.
THE TRAGEDY OF MACBETH
We watch this one when she’s awake, too. I know it’s a good idea to expose her to Shakespeare this early! That’s why I’m reading a sonnet to her every day. She won’t understand them but she’ll be exposed to so much beautiful language that she’s bound to absorb some of it.
Denzel is, unsurprisingly, as good as the critics say he is, a Macbeth who is uneasy about his own ambition until he’s not anymore. Kathryn Hunter deserves awards recognition as the Witches, too, but she’s unlikely to get it.
ENCANTO
The third movie in a row that we enjoy in one sitting, save for one interruption when she needs a diaper change. The Madrigal family is chaotic and loving and reminds me in some ways of my extended family on my mother’s side. Can I commission Lin-Manuel to write a musical about our Irish-Italian Catholic clan based in Staten Island?
I have an intense negative reaction to Abuela’s treatment of Mirabel through most of the movie. I forgive her at the end when we realize that generational trauma is the real villain of the story.
The music is catchy and the baby starts playing the soundtrack ad nauseum every day. That’s right, the baby, not me, her mother.
ALWAYS BE MY MAYBE (2019)
I take a break from Oscar contenders, watch a rom-com from 2019, and almost die laughing at this exchange:
Jenny: You can’t change the world without influential people.
Marcus: So you need to know famous people in order to make a difference?
Jenny: It helps. Look at everything Leonardo Di Caprio has done for climate change.
Marcus: What has he done for climate change?
Jenny: He’s working on it.
A Netflix movie rips apart the self-importance of another Netflix movie starring Leonardo Di Caprio that will premiere two years later. Amazing. Give this movie a retroactive Oscar.
BEING THE RICARDOS
Lucille Ball is pregnant and smoking and I’m cringing because it’s historically accurate but hard to watch.
As for the rest of the movie, Aaron Sorkin is a writer I like and don’t like in equal measure, and I liked this movie more than I didn’t. Not a ringing endorsement, I know, and turning J. Edgar Hoover into the story’s hero is…a choice, but I enjoyed watching the Lucille Ball character conceptualize onscreen physical comedy and the attention to detail she gave every blocking choice and line.
SPENCER
After watching The Crown and listening to the five-part “You’re Wrong About” Princess Diana episodes, I’m a little Diana-ed out. What can this movie add to my perception of the people’s princess? Can KStew be better at playing her than Emma Corrin in The Crown?
Stewart’s performance is a mixed bag for me. She delivers almost every line with the same breathless cadence, but sometimes she really does sound like Diana. I like her best in the scenes with young William and Harry. Is this reaction influenced at all by my new role as a mother, and thinking about how those boys, those young men, had to live without their mother for so long?
Oh, here’s Sally Hawkins to tell Diana “I’ve got a big LESBIAN crush on you!” That scene was well-played by both Stewart and Hawkins.
NIGHTMARE ALLEY
A dead baby in a jar is one of Willem Dafoe’s collection of oddities. I expect the new mother in me to be upset at the image, but the feeling of revulsion doesn’t come. Maybe I would have felt something if the movie wasn’t about carnivals, or if the film was directed by someone other than Guillermo del Toro. For del Toro, this feels tame.
I don’t have much else to say about this movie except that the presence of Cate Blanchett and Rooney Mara makes this the weirdest Carol reunion ever. I also liked the ending.
WEST SIDE STORY
We watch this when my brother (and the baby’s godfather) comes to visit. He starts singing along during “Maria.” He pauses and says “sorry.” We encourage him to continue because we’d rather hear him sing than Ansel Elgort.
This is one of my favorite musicals and I like this adaptation more than the 1961 version. I love the direction, the cinematography, the choreography. Ariana DeBose is getting all the awards she deserves, and Rachel Zegler and Mike Faist deserved to be nominated with her. There’s so much to love about this film, so, Steven, why the casting of Ansel Elgort? I know very few details about the sexual assault allegation against him, so I’m basing my commentary on the performance alone: why did you get it so right with Maria, Riff, Anita, Bernardo, the Sharks, the Jets, Anybodys, the new role for Rita Moreno, and cast someone aggressively “meh” as Tony AND give him a extra song to boot? His performance isn’t bad, it’s just…fine. A better Tony might have made this my favorite movie of the year. But I’ll show this and the 1961 version to my daughter when she’s old enough. I hope she loves musicals.
PARALLEL MOTHERS
Oh, good, a movie where infant crib death is an important plot point – I was looking forward to watching my LITERAL WORST FEAR play out onscreen while feeding my baby. Note to self: check out doesthedogdie.com for any future films that center on motherhood.
Ah, it’s a “switched at birth” story. I don’t know how often this scenario plays out in real life. I look down and my baby is nestled at my breast, fast asleep. Does she look more like me or her father? Could she have been switched at the hospital? The thought is ludicrous, and yet…if she weren’t really mine, would I know? If I’ve held her and loved her all this time, isn’t she really mine regardless of biology?
I don’t for a second really think that my daughter was switched at the hospital. Our friends are right, she has my eye color and her father’s twinkle. But Parallel Mothers is smart to set the frame of the Spanish Civil War around this story, showing people who lost trace of their ancestors because of war and brutality, grounding a soap opera plot in something all too real and painful.
BELFAST
It’s another movie night, and we’re going to shake off the pain of the traumatic ending of Spider-man: No Way Home by watching a lighthearted romp during The Troubles in Northern Ireland! I somehow doubt this is going to feel like Derry Girls.
An hour and thirty-eight minutes run time? We can watch it in one night after the baby goes to bed? I’m already biased in this movie’s favor. This is almost enough to make me forgive Kenneth Branagh for cheating on Emma Thompson. And Jamie Dornan is good enough in the role as Pa to elicit just one honeybee-themed joke from each of us. (Watch Wild Mountain Thyme. The preposterous script and accents combined with the breathtakingly gorgeous Irish countryside makes it the himbo of movies.)
The kid in this film is ridiculously cute without being cutesy. I can’t imagine being a parent during The Troubles or in any kind of armed conflict, having to worry if the simple act of walking to school can turn into bloodshed…but then again, I live in America, where bloodshed is more likely to happen in school.
Every year during the Oscars season, there’s a debate of whether voters and audiences prefer an “upper” (CODA) or a “downer” (The Power of the Dog). This movie manages to be both at once, which is why I’m not ruling it out as a surprise Best Picture win.
LICORICE PIZZA
Subtitle: “The term is actually ‘ephebophilia.’ ”
Is this movie for real? They’re trying to sell me on a romance between a 25-year-old woman and a fifteen-year-old boy? Why is John Michael Higgins speaking in an offensive fake Japanese accent? What does that scene add to the movie? Why is there a Black girl whose sole purpose of the movie is to try to sell Gary a mattress while making sex eyes at him? Is this supposed to be Gary’s hormonal teenage boy fantasy or is every girl in this film really that desperate to hop on his dick? Why does Paul Thomas Anderson need to scratch that itch to live out his adolescent fantasies onscreen when he’s married to Maya Rudolph?
I feel like I need a shower after watching this, and I’m going to be mad if this wins anything it was nominated for, and yet I still think Alana Haim should have been nominated for Best Actress. I didn’t like one minute of Alana and Gary’s romance but I bought it, and that was largely because of her performance.
DRIVE MY CAR
It takes me over ten tries to finish this movie, and not because of its length. Forty minutes/third feeding in, the subtitles on HBO Max disappear. I turn it off and on again, try to resume the film, and still no subtitles. After several attempts over two days, I give up and rent the film on a different streaming platform. I see just how necessary subtitles are, given that the film uses five different languages.
Drive My Car is a slow burn and a moving one, a beautiful meditation on grief and loss. I’m terrified that a romantic relationship will develop between the director and his driver, and am relieved that it doesn’t (but feel like it would in an American version of the movie). Hidetoshi Nishijima and Toko Miura deserved acting nominations.
Oh yes, there’s another plot point of a child dying. Just what I needed. I’m going to bookmark doesthedogdie.com on every browser, even Edge, in case I ever use it.
DUNE
We watch this over two nights after the baby goes to bed. This film more than any other on the list suffers from not being able to see it in the theater. The sandworm effect – I’m sure it was fantastic on an IMAX screen. Here, it’s…well, it happened.
I’m impressed with the film’s worldbuilding but the character development is thin and I can’t be pressed to care much about any of them, even Oscar Isaac. That said, I’m intrigued enough by the ending to be interested in watching part two. The score indicates that Timothee Chalamet may be a messiah-like figure in this strange world, but his role isn’t necessarily a good thing, for him or the people around him.
THE WORST PERSON IN THE WORLD
How appropriate that the last “Oscar movie while breastfeeding” movie on my list has a scene where the main character breastfeeds. Yes, it’s all part of a magic mushrooms-induced fantasy, but still.
I relate to the directionless Julie a little too much as I think about the projects I’ve started and stopped over the years. Her directionless nature is one reason she doesn’t want to bring a child into the world, and also one reason she considers keeping the baby when she accidentally becomes pregnant – so she can see something through. But she’s relieved when she miscarries.
I still feel directionless sometimes. I question the choices I’ve made, am making, and will make in the future regarding career and education. One thing I don’t question is my daughter. Bringing her into this world has given me a sense of clarity I never felt before. I know that everything I do – we do – now will be informed by raising her and giving her the best life we can.
Being her mother is not my everything. It is not the only role I want for my life. But it is a role that I cherish and love, and it helps carry me through all my other uncertainties.
Julie felt differently. Unlike her second boyfriend, she does not change her mind about not wanting children. Good for her.
If I had a ballot:
Best Picture: 1) The Power of the Dog 2) Drive My Car 3) West Side Story 4) CODA 5) Belfast 6) King Richard 7) Nightmare Alley 8) Dune 9) Don’t Look Up 10) Licorice Pizza
Best Director: Jane Campion, The Power of the Dog
Best Actor: Denzel Washington, The Tragedy of Macbeth
Best Actress: Penelope Cruz, Parallel Mothers
Best Supporting Actor: Troy Kotsur, CODA
Best Supporting Actress: Ariana Debose, West Side Story
Best Original Screenplay: The Worst Person in the World
Best Adapted Screenplay: Drive My Car
The baby’s rankings:
How should I know, she’s four months old.
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