Hey, remember when Tracy Morgan made those violent homophobic jokes in one of his stand-up routines? Remember when Jennifer Aniston said that she dressed up for a living “like a retard?” Remember when Mel Gibson made extremely violent, racist, anti-Semitic, and misogynistic comments? Remember when (hee hee) Scott Adams compared rape to cannibalism and said that anyone who criticized him was a bully? Remember when (sob) Johnny Depp said that having his photograph taken was akin to being raped, not long after he defended his buddy Roman Polanski and asserted that Polanski is no longer a danger because he is old and has a wife and kids?
If you follow celebrity gossip, you might have heard of all of these incidents, or you may have heard of none of them. Every time you turn around, a famous person is saying something stupid or harmful. That above paragraph is hardy a comprehensive list of celebrities saying harmful things – I only wrote about the first five that immediately came to mind. Brett Ratner’s recent comment that “rehearsing is for fags” is hardly the worst statement a famous person has made about a marginalized group – it’s only the latest one.
Better yet, when someone pointed out that his comment would be a public relations nightmare was wrong and harmful, he delivered the classic non-apology:
“I apologize for any offense my remarks caused. It was a dumb way of expressing myself. Everyone who knows me knows that I don’t have a prejudiced bone in my body. But as a storyteller I should have been much more thoughtful about the power of language and my choice of words.”
I’d ask all who predicted that yet another celebrity would deliver a non-apology to raise hands, but I think most of you, like me, are too busy burying your heads in your hands.
We’re all tired of celebrities saying awful things, but I think we’re even more tired of the non-apology. The “I’m sorry if people are offended.” The “people who know me know I’m not bad.” The “it was a poor choice of words.”
I believe that there are some famous people (just like there are some non-famous people) who have actual disorders and don’t have full control over the words that come out of their mouths. I believe there are also some famous people (just like there are some non-famous people) who really are perpetually clueless and don’t ever think about the words that come out of their mouths. But I think we know that those two descriptions do not describe most famous people.
Therefore, I am providing all celebrities everywhere with an Apology for Every Occasion – free of charge!
“Some of you may have heard that I said something racist/sexist/homophobic/ableist/etc. recently. That’s unfortunate. I really didn’t want any of you to hear that I said that particular thing. It didn’t make me look good.
I’d like to stand here and say that I don’t have a prejudiced bone in my body, but let’s be honest here: I clearly do have at least a few prejudiced bones in my body. That’s because I grew up in the same culture as the rest of you, and all sorts of isms exist in our culture. I did not grow up in a pack of wolves and therefore managed not to internalize a single -ist message from our society.
I could also claim that what I said was due to a poor choice of words and I didn’t think about what was saying, but again, I have to be honest. That’s bullshit. Even though I live in a very privileged bubble and often surround myself with people who are paid to kiss my ass, I didn’t spend my whole life on a cave in Mars with my eyes shut and my fingers in my ears. I am at least vaguely aware that words have power, and I have at least a vague understanding about human beings and how we relate to each other. I knew that saying “retard” in a public sphere would hurt and offend people, but I also knew that there would be people out there who would think it was funny, and I chose to go for humor instead of sensitivity. I’d like to say I’m just being edgy, but I know damn well that it’s not remotely edgy to use slurs that are so old they’re practically fossilized. I wanted to be funny but not put that much effort into thinking of a cleverer joke, so I went for the cheap shot. My bad.
In order to further defend myself, I could also claim that my best friend in the world is gay. I may even be telling the truth. But even if my best friend in the world likes it when I call him a fag in total jest and affection, that doesn’t mean it’s okay for me to use the word “fag” in a public context, because my best friend in the world doesn’t represent all gay people, and I don’t have the same relationship with the entire gay community as I do with my best friend.
Anyway, I’m really sorry. I’m not so sorry that I hurt people – I secretly, deep down, think you whiny hysterics all need to just get the fuck over it already – but I am really sorry that other people now think badly of me. I hate it when people think badly of me. I like to think of myself as a good person. So I’m going to go to rehab now so I can pat myself on the back for being a good person. Have a good day, and please don’t stop seeing my movies, listening to my music, reading my books, or buying products that I endorse. Thank you.”
There you have it. Famous People of the World, feel free to use this standard apology anytime you want. You can adapt it to your particular circumstance based on whatever slur you use that is “taken out of context.” Oh, and you’re welcome.
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Dan did you think of Dan Harmon’s apology for the last episode of Community? http://danharmon.tumblr.com/post/12377752020/mea-culpa-for-those-needing-one-onward-and-gayward
I think that apology is a lot more thoughtful and sincere than most Famous People give. But Dan Harmon strikes me as a thoughtful, sincere guy in general, and I like that he at least takes time to think about these issues, even if after the fact. He makes mistakes but always seems willing to consider and reconsider, and that makes me think pretty highly of him in general.
I was actually really excited to see this in the comments – I’ve been hoping for a review of Community’s 3.06, Advanced Gay all week ;->
It didn’t occur to me to write a post all about that episode (but thanks!) I think Dan Harmon covered it pretty well himself – treating the “gay community” like a monolithic group when he doesn’t have any gay characters other than the Dean is a little problematic, but he’s aware of it and thinks deeply about his choices, so I respect him for using hindsight and rethinking what he does.
>>I believe there are also some famous people (just like there are some non-famous people) who really are perpetually clueless and don’t ever think about the words that come out of their mouths. But I think we know that those two descriptions do not describe most famous people.<<
Ahh see this is where we part ways, I actually DO have a really low opinion of most people in show business, especially actors, I think the personality types drawn to working in the business are typically vain, largely uneducated, painfully un-selfware people. I mean the time they spend pretending to be someone else (or writing about pretend people in pretend environments) is almost equal to the time they spend actually being themselves, so their tendency toward saying stupid shit (offensive or just dumb generally) is higher than the average person, which is why they need PR and Mangagement, because they really really need the help in expressing and presenting their "self".
The more Hollywood they are, the more of a commodity that they become the worse it is for them. The Johnny who made movies that didn't make very much money could say stupid shit (and he often did I still remember Sassy magazines interview with him in which the writer was so very disenchanted) and no one really noticed (same with Gwynnie), the Johnny who makes 4 Pirates movies? People are gonna notice.
Which doens't mean they shouldn't be called out for their dumb/offensive stuff, just that I'm more surprised when a celebrity says something smart/thoughtful than when they something stupid/offensive.
Is there any credible evidence suggesting that people who aren’t famous enough to need PR and management say dumb shit less often than those who are, or are you just drawing that conclusion based on your avowed anti-actor bias and the absence of any interviews in Sassy with, say, the accountant down the street or the janitor at the local school? Because I’ve seen a lot of polls run by reputable firms that suggest that the streets are just teeming with dumbasses, and my guess would be that the samples for those polls include few few famous actors.
And I thought I stated so clearly it was an opinion based on my experience, not a social scientifically supported fact.
But your experiential evidence is limited to the people with whom you interact regularly, and the actors famous enough to be interviewed in magazines and on TV, which taken together hardly seem broad enough to form the basis of an opinion as sweeping as “I actually DO have a really low opinion of most people in show business, especially actors, I think the personality types drawn to working in the business are typically vain, largely uneducated, painfully un-selfware people.” It doesn’t take into account the vast number of people who are neither actors nor people you know, nor the vast number of actors who aren’t famous enough for you to have seen interviews with.
Moreover, I don’t see how making that kind of statement about actors is substantially more appropriate that one that says, for example, “I actually DO have a really low opinion of most Jews, especially Orthodox Jews,” or “I think the personality types drawn to the Republican party are typically vain, largely uneducated, painfully un-selfware people.” And God knows Lady T would have a field day if someone had said the same about women.
Spoiled Hollywood actors are such a marginalized, oppressed group. I’m happy there’s at least one brave, lone voice in the wilderness standing up for them.
And God knows Lady T would have a field day if someone had said the same about women.
But JUST women. Not people of color, or people with disabilities, or gay people, or anyone who doesn’t have a vagina. JUST WOMEN.
I believe there are also some famous people (just like there are some non-famous people) who really are perpetually clueless and don’t ever think about the words that come out of their mouths.
I have to admit, I identify with that because I often articulate my points (in classes, for example) without thinking through exactly what I’m trying to get at. It’s not that my specific words are rude or “un-PC” but that my ideas are articulated poorly such that the intent is misunderstood. Granted, using the word “retard” or making a joke about rape are maybe slightly different in terms of context.
I might buy the apologies as more sincere if they acknowledged the struggle to overcome socialized and internalized behaviours and attitudes… Being willing to open a dialogue and facilitate honest and respectful discussion has helped me learn more about issues which I was largely uninformed about or insensitive to.
Being willing to open a dialogue and facilitate honest and respectful discussion has helped me learn more about issues which I was largely uninformed about or insensitive to.
Yes, I’m always willing to give the benefit of the doubt to people who take a sincere, hard look at their actions and reexamine their choices. I feel like very few people in the public sphere do that.
I’d like to know what you think of statements like Herman Cain’s, “I’ve never acted inappropriately with anyone.”
Really? REALLY?
I don’t know if there are enough words to describe the utter FAIL of that comment.
But I’ll start by echoing your REALLY? REALLY?! That’s bullshit. Everyone has acted inappropriately with someone at one point or another. We’ve all been awkward or inappropriate or done the wrong thing.
I know he means “sexually inappropriate,” but the word choice still makes me LOL.
It would be so refreshing if famous people where actually that honest. The funny thing is, Mel Gibson actually came pretty close to this when he told a reporter that he’d “made the necessary ‘mea culpas'” and that the world needed to move on (from his sexist/anti-Semitic tirade, obviously). The telling honesty in that statement is fascinating– “I apologized because you all expected it. I haven’t changed and don’t intend to change, but the social niceties are over with, so how about we leave my hateful, ugly ideas behind us and move on?”
The telling honesty in that statement is fascinating– “I apologized because you all expected it. I haven’t changed and don’t intend to change, but the social niceties are over with, so how about we leave my hateful, ugly ideas behind us and move on?”
It’s true. I find him much more hateful than most celebrities that say majorly stupid things because he adds an extra dose of violent rhetoric on top of the ignorance, but there is something weirdly honest about him.