I wrote a post a long time ago about gendered insults and how we should avoid them. I stand by the opinion that it’s demeaning to insult a person based on sex and/or gender, and I’ve tried to adapt my normal language patterns. For the most part, I’ve taken to calling people “assholes” when I don’t like them, making the behavior, rather the person, the subject of my contempt.
That said, I still use the word “bitch” and the adjective “bitchy” much of the time…only now, I’m using them as compliments. I’ve used the word “bitch” as a compliment before, but now I (try to) use the word exclusively as a compliment.
Why do I do this? Isn’t calling women “bitches,” even in a complimentary way, just endangering the feminist cause? Isn’t it the equivalent to black people calling each other the “n-word?”
I’ll answer the second question first, since this question invariably comes up during these kinds of debates, and just say that I don’t feel qualified to judge whether or not black people should call each other the n-word, and I won’t feel qualified to make a judgment about that issue until I live my life as a black person…in other words, never. So we’re not going to talk about that here.
As for the “endangering the cause” issue…well, I have thoughts about that.
Why are women called bitches? They usually get pegged with that insult and get compared to a female dog because they have the audacity to speak their mind and break free of the social norms. These women have stepped outside of their place, see, and they have to be punished for it by being called bitches.
Well, I happen to like women who speak their mind and break free of the social norms. In my world, a bitch is a woman who knows the risks she’s taking when she states an opinion and stands up for herself, but does it anyway because fuck all if she’s going to let some asshole tell her what she can and can’t do.
Trust me that if I call you a “straight-up bitch,” I mean that in the absolute best way.
Of course, not everyone is going to agree with me on this, and that’s fine. I don’t expect everyone to agree with me. I also won’t admiringly call a woman a “straight-up bitch” or a “tough as nails bitch” if I think that will make her uncomfortable. I think all individuals have a right to be called whatever they want to be called. In general, though, I want to give general rounds of applause to the tough bitches in this world.
To continue to celebrate people who tell it like it is, I’m presenting some pictures of my favorite bitch faces. When I’m confronted with stupid jerks and assholes in real life, I wish I were a brave enough bitch to tell them like it is. Unfortunately, my sense of decorum usually trumps my desire to tell someone off and I swallow my bitchy comment and smile. These people, however? They don’t care if people think they’re bitches. They don’t have to even tell someone off because their marvelous bitch faces express their contempt better than words ever can.
In honor of the bitch face, I present you Santana Lopez…
"You're singing Sweet Caroline to Rachel? Her?"
"I can make five bitch faces in three seconds. Now give me a drink."
"Seriously, Ron. Shut the fuck up. Haven't you figured out yet that I'm always right?"
"Yeah, no, not gonna shower if I don't want to."
"I cannot BELIEVE I stalked your sorry ass for a hundred and fifty years."
"Yes, I SHOULD win an Emmy for my ability to make these facial expressions alone."
"I'm, like, three, and I can still tell you're full of shit."
"You think you have it in you to be as fabulous as I am. You are wrong."
…and finally, my favorite bitch face of all time, from Tai Frasier:
That was way harsh, Tai. But let’s face it – Cher totally deserved it.
Articles
Interviews
Novels, Fiction & Silliness
Reviews
I just wanted to take a moment and say thank you for this post. Personally, I love the idea of reclaiming the word “bitch”, and using it as you do. If “bitch” is meant to shame women for not playing along with patriarchy, then why shouldn’t those of us who have no interest in playing along with patriarchy adopt it as a positive? Quick personal story: A male friend of mine recently called me a “bitch” for calling him and other men out on the assumption that they have a right to romantic and/or sexual access to their female friends as a reward for being such “nice guys” to us. The points you make here are the reason that I found myself taking it as a complement.
By the way, I was thinking of writing a post related to this word and its use from a feminist perspective. When I do, do you mind if I link to this one?
Pingback: Sketch Comedy Monday: “I Said Biiiiiiitch.” « The Funny Feminist
One thing, when people convert words to positive things about their group rather than their negative usage why do they say they are reclaiming them?
Unless the word Bitch originally meant something good about women surely changing its meaning would be claiming it, as it wasn’t originally yours to “reclaim”?
Heh. I don’t think I’ve ever looked at it from that perspective, but you’re right. The “re” is unnecessary.
Pingback: On Language, Repression, and Power « Shades of Gray