It’s very rare of me to make three posts in one day, but I couldn’t NOT comment on the fact that Osama bin Laden is reportedly dead.
It is truly a wondrous occasion when such a sick, evil, immoral excuse for a human being is dead.
But my first thought upon hearing this news was, “I wonder what Osama’s version of ‘Candle in the Wind’ would sound like?”
Goodbye Osama B
Though I never knew you at all
You were the evil mastermind
That tried to kill us all…
And then I thought, “I bet right now, Al Qaeda is putting together a video montage of their fondest memories of Osama, set to Sarah McLachlan’s ‘I Will Remember You.’ And it’s in slow motion.”
These were my FIRST thoughts upon hearing the news. My. FIRST. Thoughts.
Yeah. I think I should, perhaps, stop suggesting that others be more sensitive in their topics for comedy, since I clearly am one sick, twisted fuck who needs to get myself sterilized.
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Isn’t it convenient for the prez that this should happen in a week when the long-form birth certificate release has drawn criticism from the right (who still want to delegitimize his presidency) and the left (who, as you so admirably articulated it, think he shouldn’t have fed the trolls)? And they’ve already disposed of the body? Pffff. I reckon US forces killed him ages ago, and were saving the announcement for a time when they needed the political capital.
Possibly. I won’t deny that I question the government about stuff like this, but right now, I’m still too happy about the result to care.
>And then I thought, “I bet right now, Al Qaeda is putting together a video montage of their fondest memories of Osama, set to Sarah McLachlan’s ‘I Will Remember You.’ And it’s in slow motion.”
You are a twisted fuck, and please never change. Also, I’m stealing your joke.
Imitation = flattery! Just remember to quote me. 😉